md: resolve external metadata handling deadlock in md_allow_write

md: resolve external metadata handling deadlock in md_allow_write

md_allow_write() marks the metadata dirty while holding mddev->lock and then
waits for the write to complete.  For externally managed metadata this causes a
deadlock as userspace needs to take the lock to communicate that the metadata
update has completed.

Change md_allow_write() in the 'external' case to start the 'mark active'
operation and then return -EAGAIN.  The expected side effects while waiting for
userspace to write 'active' to 'array_state' are holding off reshape (code
currently handles -ENOMEM), cause some 'stripe_cache_size' change requests to
fail, cause some GET_BITMAP_FILE ioctl requests to fall back to GFP_NOIO, and
cause updates to 'raid_disks' to fail.  Except for 'stripe_cache_size' changes
these failures can be mitigated by coordinating with mdmon.

md_write_start() still prevents writes from occurring until the metadata
handler has had a chance to take action as it unconditionally waits for
MD_CHANGE_CLEAN to be cleared.

[neilb@suse.de: return -EAGAIN, try GFP_NOIO]
Signed-off-by: Dan Williams <dan.j.williams@intel.com>